7.13.2011

Life's not a bitch

I just felt compelled to drop in and share something I just saw on Reddit:

You don't own the atoms of your body. Every atom that makes up your body was here long before you were, and will remain here long after you have gone. You are a caretaker of your physical body, nothing more. Most of the atoms aren't even part of you for the entirety of your life. You are a temporary conglomeration of molucules. They come and go. The water you consumed this morning will pass in a matter of days, if not hours.

That which you think you are will have ceased to exist very soon.

But you will will continue to exist after it happens.

Next week IS the afterlife.

I haven't discussed any of my personal beliefs/opinions about philosophy or religion or politics on here, and I don't intend to make a point of it. Mainly because they are pretty controversial, but also because that's not what my blog is about. This particular passage really resonated within me, to the point where I wanted to write about it, and that requires some backstory.

I am an atheist.
I am also very...spiritual? I have to use a question mark because I don't really like that word.

Basically, I don't "believe" in any organized religions, and I don't subscribe to any Hippie magazines, or anything like that. But I feel like I am connected to the planet, and the people around me. I have this astounding love in my heart for all of life, and everything that life entails. I don't believe in an afterlife, and I don't believe that humans are on the planet for any reason other than chance, which (I feel) frees me up to be the happiest I can be, at all times. There is nothing but this moment, there is nothing but what I am feeling right now.

My personal "mantra" could be summed up as follows:
I live for my own happiness, and I live to make everyone around me as happy as I personally can. I live to cause harm to none. Life is a playground, and any day where I am not laughing and smiling is a day that has been wasted.

Beyond all that, though (and getting back to the passage) - I have been trying to pin down exactly what it is that I "believe." I have always felt this connection to the world around me, but I never talked about it because frankly it sounds a little Pocahontas-y (I'm pretty quick to err on the side of self-deprecation). I like to think of myself as an empiricist- that is, I require tangible evidence to be swayed. My whole 'colors-of-the-wind' thing was kinda clashing hardcore.

And then I found this quote. And it came into focus for me. We ARE connected. There IS tangible evidence. I am one with the universe because everything that I am is made up of the universe, and after my neurons stop firing I will still be a part of the universe. It's more than just being a part of the cycle of life, or an ecosystem. It's so much more. All of my molecules used to belong to someone or something else, I am a temporary conglomerate of molecules and when I pass these same molecules that I own just for now will be recycled and granted to other life and things. This concept is just so, so beautiful for me.

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I remember being a senior in high school, and talking out my beliefs with a school mate (I believe it was called a 'heated argument' back then though...heh). He was trying to convince me that there has to be a God, because of all of the beauty in the world. I countered that, to me, it is so much more intensely amazing to think that every thing in this world came about through billions of years of trial and error. I look at my hand and I can imagine the journey it took to become me (I can try to imagine it, anyway)...the fact that I exist at all is such a statistical mindfuck, and I am that much more beautiful because I am the product of every single thing that came before me. Each person represents an entire universe worth of history and memories and birth and death, that all had to take place exactly as it did for us to exist.

It's just, like, mind boggling, man. (hehe)

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The beauty of the universe is organic and spontaneous, and so heart-stoppingly epic in scope. I love every single breath that I am alive to take.

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