Oh pooh, that sentence is such a frustrating jumble of brick-wall words that leave me so terribly flustered...
It's true, though. It's time to get back into the swing of things. There are so many many things that I have to do right now, and by the weekend, and by November 12th...it all drives me nuts. It feels like there are so many loose ideas and thoughts flying around my head like little gnats, and when I have the fortune to grab even one of them and make it sit still for a moment it feels like a major victory. This entire month so far has been screwy - starting with Memorial Day and ending with my sick day I took yesterday (with, yknow, Bonnaroo thrown in there) I haven't had a week yet where I haven't missed a day. Luckily I'm not getting any short paychecks because of it, but I'm still left feeling dazed wondering the days have gone. It's almost July, and I have so much left to pay on my dress, let alone the photographer and the reception hall and the food and the....oh my gosh pretty much all of it.
Whatever happened to the days when parents paid for an entire wedding? Oh my goodness.
I don't say that to mean that any of our parents have been unhelpful or unsupportive, we went into this headfirst saying the whole time that this will be "our wedding our way"...and that also means "our wedding our financial responsibility." In better moments I look at the silver lining, which is that I am fortunate enough to have my own wedding and that I will be able to pay for it (though it may be hard)...and that when it is over, I will feel extremely accomplished for it. Not to mention that whole joining-lives-with-my-best-friend thing..that's a pretty nice perk!
At the end of it all, this is what's important.
I'm just a taskmaster on myself, is all.
It's hard watching the end of a day go by and not feeling like I made full use of it.