Fall in Florida is absolutely my favorite time of year. In the past it has been Fall that has been the season of new beginnings (new school years, new friends, new everything) and for this year in particular Fall is incredibly meaningful.
I am getting married this Fall. In 32 days, I will walk down the aisle [deck] under an oak tree that has seen more than I can imagine, and I will become Mrs. Foster.
I haven't really written about the wedding much lately because I think I've been on wedding overload...my brain is spazzing out and I'm getting to the point where I don't even want to talk wedding because I will launch into a brainspew of my worries and plans and thoughts and it all comes out before I can even stop it.
So...I've just sorta been avoiding it.
That isn't to say that I haven't been utterly consumed by all things wedding. Because I totally have. I (and when I say 'I' I mean with my partner Corey helping me with every single thing) have successfully designed my invites myself and had them printed/cut at Office Depot, I designed an envelope template and cut/scored/folded/glued 100 envelopes out of brown packaging paper, hand addressed them all and sealed the stuffed envelopes with gold wax, and mailed them off. I have the park registered, I have the reception hall [mostly] paid for, my dress is [mostly] paid for, we have taken our engagement pictures and our photographer is [mostly] paid for. We ordered custom rings from Fabuluster on Etsy, which we are so SO excited about. We have been making all sorts of banners and garlands, and I'm making linen placemats and napkins. Corey's brother Geoff made a beautiful fingerprint tree for us (kinda like this one) and I can't wait to see it filled up with the fingerprints of the people that love us.
Most of my anxiety comes from not being able to really picture it all together. It feels like I'm putting dots on a page with no real idea of how the connect-the-dots is gonna turn out once we put the lines in. There are a ton of dots that I'm not even able to put on the page yet because they're still up in the air. Food, day of schedule, getting everything paid for, getting ready... bridal showers? Flowers? Bachelorette party? It'sI just hope that it turns out to be something that I'm proud of. Is it weird to say that? I don't really care that much if my wedding impresses other people, I just want to be proud of the work that we've put into it.
Most of all, of course, I just want to marry my best friend. Looking at his face makes every worry worth it, and when the worries grow too large I scurry into his arms and bats them all away. He is my fearless protector, my comrade-in-arms, my best friend, and my love. Sweet jesus I love this man. I love that I have fun with him everywhere we go, from being goofballs at a park to trying new beers at European Street Cafe...every day is something new, even if it is something we have done a million times before.