Do you know what it
means to miss the dark energy
of a world that loses
its mind with planned synchronicity?
I chase Angie
(pronounced An-zhee) into the galleries of Royal Street,
keeping her lipstick-red
wig a fixture in my sight. I dig the heights
of ceilings in New
Orleans but I wish I could take pictures.
I can’t tell facsimile
from reality and the jewel tone of her pants bleeds
into the waiting hands
of cherubs painted on suspended canvas.
She wants another drink
already.
I’m in similar spirits
and we wander planless through the Quarter,
pretending we're swingin
jazzcats instead of whitebread like we look.
I lovingly stare down
the dreadlocked heads of train-hopping “gutter trash”
and think "I'd
rather be associated with that
than be labelled as a
white girl."
This city's revelry
calls to me, a swampland full of lessons for the listening,
and I do. I accept the
rasp of muted trombone as sacrament,
the hush of holy
reverence in the flush of liquored cheeks.
The dance with ancient
history in the making.
A voice speaks:
"And I was never
here
but it didn’t used to be
that way."
The voice also tells me
that I am Jesus, and it's tempting -
that His Divinity might
simply be a smiling girl on a streetcar,
that the way, the truth
and the light are not so far.
Of course I know I'm
wrong, but the thought fills up my ego.
I savor the stranger’s
knuckles that graze my shoulder blades
in rhythm to the road
bumps as we go.
"Who dat, red
hair?!" comes a catcall from the nightfall.
I'd rather be Jesus than
a white girl but I'll take whatever this is.
I could be the guiding
star or perhaps just made of ash pressed onto foreheads...
I think I am awhirl with
planetary nobility.
I think I'm of a class
that rises in tranquility as the sun declines over Poydras.
My ability to seek out
wondrous dichotomy never ceases
and my eyes leak and
hide behind folds and creases of wrinkled vision.
I laugh in the face of a
chill coming over as I wrap myself in sips of Fireball.
Whiskey warmth. Catcalls
from the nightfall.
I see myself in the seat
of it all, surrounded and alone,
my eyes swirling with
the saxophone and scanning the crowd for a red wig,
finding Angie and
placing my hand on her head.
And I was never here
But it didn’t used to be
that way
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